Parenting with Purpose
Posted: January 20, 2023
“Dear Proud Ninja Parent,
On my hard days, remember I am small.
Posted: January 20, 2023
“Dear Proud Ninja Parent,
On my hard days, remember I am small.
Posted: January 06, 2023
Parents everywhere want their children to achieve success. This is usually defined by fulfilling societal norms, whether in terms of grades, athletic abilities, or something else. And the push to accomplish these things first is putting pressure on children and parents as well. Comparisons are fueling the expectation for children to develop at a specific rate and master skills at a certain time. Unfortunately, this is causing stress and decreasing children's self-esteem. Instead, we should celebrate each child's uniqueness and nurture their individuality by allowing them time to grow into the best version of themselves.
What often gets forgotten is that every child is different. Children have different temperaments, strengths, personalities, and vulnerabilities; therefore, their development will vary. During these stages, it is normal that children might be a little ahead of their peers in some areas and not in others. The problem is that parents often feel under pressure to parent the "right" way to avoid judgment from others. This causes them to push their children in ways that may not necessarily be the best for that child. The constant prodding to not fall behind is counterintuitive to a child achieving the most success. As Bansky, a street artist, said, "A lot of parents will do anything for their kids except let them be themselves."
Posted: December 23, 2022
Getting children to behave how we want them to can be tricky. Even with the best intentions, parents often fall short regarding enforcing positive behaviors in their children while also extinguishing negative ones. Understanding reinforcement schedules and strategies for implementing them can be beneficial to parents and create positive behavior outcomes and improve the parent-child bond.
Looking at B.F. Skinner’s behavior theory regarding Operant Conditioning, we know that the most effective way to increase positive behaviors is by catching children being good and rewarding them for a job well done. This, coupled with ignoring negative behaviors, can be the most effective combination regarding behavior management. But to take this a step further, implementing positive reinforcement in the most effective way requires forethought and should include a planned out schedule, no matter what approach is chosen.
Posted: November 17, 2022
Throughout the past four months schedules have been upended and downtime has taken over. However, as the new school year gets underway, reality is going to show up and we are going to be scrambling to get ourselves and our children back on a productive path. In the book “The 7 Habits of Happy Kids” by Sean Covey habit three is “Work First, Then Play.” While time doing homework has always been a struggle for children, adding in the digital learning for them makes school even more of a daunting task. But in the wake of the pandemic, this is our reality, so children grasping habit three will be essential, so they stay on track with completing school assignments and homework.
When it comes to schoolwork, children often find ways to avoid it for various reasons, and parents often label this behavior as laziness. But let’s be honest…children have different priorities then adults do and the last thing they want to do at home is schoolwork. The reason…children are still developing executive functioning, so they don’t have the skills of organizing and prioritizing that they need to be successful in this area on their own. In addition, children with neurological challenges, such as ADHD, have even more difficulty with this.
Posted: November 04, 2022
We’ve all set goals, to some degree, throughout our lives. Some were easily achieved while others we just gave up on completing. This is because most plans are either set in the comfort zone or the danger zone. And while our initial motivation generally puts on a path to setting lofty goals, it can lead us to failure. Finding a balance between these two zones is critical in increasing productivity and avoiding stagnation. The “SKILLZ zone” is the optimal place to do this. By teaching children this early on, we can ensure that they have the necessary tools for consistent future successes.
We are all very familiar with the comfort zone. This is where we feel secure and have skills in place to help us maintain the status quo. Many people spend a lot of time in this zone because it doesn’t require much change. This is also the place that we withdraw to when we feel panicked or overwhelmed. And although feeling safe is essential, the comfort zone doesn’t allow us space to grow, so we become indifferent to expanding ourselves. This essentially blocks us from learning any new skills that are beneficial to our growth.