As we know, children can lose control of their emotions for various reasons, and the behaviors we witness are generally unplanned. And since anxiety can look like defiance, adults often respond in counterproductive ways. When children are stressed, the amygdala, in the downstairs brain, is triggered, and the “fight or flight” response takes over. This hijacking of the brain makes it hard for children to be reached through conversation resulting in a disruption in the current environment. Implementing rapid resets can calm children and get their brains back “online.”
When children are out of the zone, and their “lid is flipped,” the sympathetic nervous system has been fully activated, and they don’t recognize what is happening. The reactions we see are based on each child’s current developmental stage, communication skills, and emotional competency. Also, some children have an anxious type temperament and are more likely to react in a stronger way.
Luckily, the body has a natural reset button in the parasympathetic nervous system called the vagus nerve. This nerve runs from the brain stem, through the face, to the thorax and abdomen. When it’s stimulated, it sends a message to the brain that it can relax and the body calms down. When children experience a flood of emotions resulting from stress, the vagus nerve has to be activated to get children back to a teachable mindset. Then, and only then, can we begin to engage them in a logical, age-appropriate discussion of the situation and make a plan for next time.
Addressing Social Awareness and Support
Posted: June 22, 2023
“Beep, beep, beep,” the alarm clock rings, summoning the whole family to rise from their night of deep slumber. Time to greet the new day!
Winters chill still in the air, I look out from my frosty window to see the birds dancing from treetop to ground to sky. Behind me, the sudden, rapid pitter patter of my boys’ feet approach. I brace for the morning tackle in 3-2-1 … Snuggle Fest! Showering them both in a sea of kisses and hugs, I find both sets of their baby blue eyes meeting mine in the moment to share our good morning, “I love you!”
From “Snuggle Fest” to breakfast time and the rest of our daily morning routine combined, there is an intentional flow and mindfulness I surround my kids in well before they ever set foot outside the door. Because while I do certainly guide, nurture and support my kids in their interactions beyond the comfort of our home, I’m not always by their side physically, in the moments when some of their most difficult challenges arise in the social setting.
How Parental Involvement Increases Child Success
Posted: June 15, 2023
Parents are an essential element to their child’s success in anything. The enthusiasm and support, or lack thereof, of a parent can make or break a child’s accomplishments. In SKILLZ martial arts, it is even more essential that parents be involved as part of the teaching team since the SKILLZ system applies child development and psychology. This approach can create extreme success for a child when their parents appreciate the program and are involved in the process.
Parents that enroll their children in martial arts want to see them succeed but most don’t know what is needed from them to make this happen. Often, children who are in martial arts do not have parents that are martial artists themselves. Parents usually know what the benefits of martial arts are but don’t understand the process of making these benefits a reality. Since the goal of the SKILLZ program is to help children grow to be the best version of themselves, much emphasis is placed on the teaching team of instructors and parents.
Stages of Development Series Part 2
Posted: June 02, 2023
“Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.” Dr. Seuss
“Wait! I have to tell my mommy something!”
Stages of Development Series Part 1
Posted: May 25, 2023
“Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.” Dr. Seuss